The Annual General Meeting of the Gittisham CLT will be held on Tuesday 30^th June at 7.00pm in the Gittisham Village Hall. It would be nice to see as many members as possible of the GCLT attending for what is an important but, I promise, not a long meeting.

The planning application process for the GCLT  village development has been particularly long and frustrating, however, the EDDC Planning Officer’s report finally became available at the beginning of the year and documented in detail the planning considerations that had taken place. In conclusion the officer commented :

The proposed scheme represents an example of a strongly community-led development that would, on account of its benefits in terms of affordable housing provision, realise significant social benefits in line with one of the three main objectives to the achievement of sustainable development set out at paragraph 8 of the NPPF (National Planning Policy Framework).

It would also likely generate moderate economic benefits, more particularly though the construction phase, including direct and indirect employment provision, but also for the limited range of services and facilities provided in the village. When considered against the likely limited impact of the development upon the wider character of the National Landscape and the significance of the adjacent designated heritage assets and the absence of any concerns having regard to the other contextual issues set out above, it is considered that the overall planning balance weighs firmly in favour of the proposal.

Approval is therefore recommended subject to a legal agreement (Section 106 Agreement) being entered into to secure the proposed affordable housing and open space and its maintenance and conditions as set out below.

Once the  Section 106 has been finalized the formal planning permission will be issued.  

There is still work to be done and finding a Registered Provider (RP)/Housing Association management/development partner is proving to be another difficult challenge. There is a major significant economic squeeze on RPs’ capacity for development at present due to having to divert funds to accommodate meeting requirements of incoming legislation. On the bright side, once we have found a partner, there is plenty of capital grant for new house-building in the government’s new 10-year, £39bn national programme.

For further details of the work and membership of the GCLT please contact David Valentine ().

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Dear Geraldine

I write with the utmost concern regarding this year’s potato-growing competition.

While I have always believed the event to be a shining example of agricultural integrity, recent observations have left me questioning whether all competitors are relying solely on sunshine, rainwater, and honest gardening.

Rumours abound that one particularly enthusiastic grower has been administering suspicious quantities of Viagra to his prize potatoes in the hope of achieving unusual firmness and impressive dimensions. While I am no horticultural scientist, I struggle to believe that potatoes should stand quite so proudly at the weigh-in.

Furthermore, another competitor’s harvest appears remarkably similar to the specimens available at the local supermarket. Several villagers have reportedly witnessed furtive

movements involving carrier bags and a suspiciously clean bucket shortly before judging commenced.

I am not making accusations, merely raising questions that any reasonable potato enthusiast would ask.

Questions such as:

• Why do some potatoes arrive cleaner than a surgeon’s instruments?

•  Why do certain competitors become nervous when asked why their potatoes look different to everyone else’s?

• Why does one exhibit appear to bear the exact dimensions of a commercially graded baking
potato?

For the preservation of village honour, I respectfully suggest stricter inspections, random bucket checks, and, if necessary, performance-enhancing substance testing for all root vegetables.

Yours in the pursuit of fair competition, A Deeply Concerned Potato Grower

(who definitely did not come second last year and is absolutely not bitter about it)

Dear Concerned Potato Grower,

Thank you for your letter, which arrived on my desk accompanied by a quantity of indignation rarely seen outside parish council meetings and parking disputes.

First, let me assure you that I take allegations of vegetable misconduct extremely seriously. The suggestion that a competitor may be administering Viagra to potatoes is certainly a novel one. However, until science confirms the existence of performance-enhancing drugs for root vegetables, I would advise caution before drawing conclusions from a potato’s size, firmness, or overall confidence.

As for the accusation that another grower may be supplementing their harvest with shop-bought specimens, I must point out that the burden of proof is rather higher than “it looked a bit too tidy.” Some gardeners are blessed with green fingers; others are blessed with the ability to remove soil without causing an international incident.

My advice is simple. Resist the urge to become the village’s self-appointed Potato Detective. Instead, focus your energies on your own crop. Water diligently, feed appropriately, and avoid staking out supermarket vegetable aisles with binoculars.

Should you discover a competitor wheeling a trolley full of baking potatoes directly into the show tent, then by all means alert the organisers. Until then, remember that village shows are intended to celebrate community spirit, not launch agricultural tribunals.

And if someone does produce a potato of truly extraordinary proportions, perhaps the correct response is not suspicion but admiration—or at least a request for their growing tips.

Yours faithfully,

Geraldine Gitt 

Forever supplying boomer wisdom.